FiXato, the eYe dewd (the Biography ;p)

[FiXato]

So... who is FiXato? :: Basics
normally I would say: that's for you to find out in an extended period of time... but since this is an introductory topic, I think I can't get away with that, that easily

FiXato is the bits and bytes manifestation of a (at time of writing) 21 year old guy (by the time of editting that is already 22 year-old guy ), who goes by the name of Filip H.F. "FiXato" Slagter (which a good google search will also show ;P) and who was born and raised in a European country; the Netherlands to be precise.
On the 20th of November, 1983, this bright (*cough*) and emotionally intense fella' saw the light and had his ancient soul reborn into this dimensional layer of the world.
Being born on that date (Overtone Moon day 6 in the Year of the White Self-Existing Wizard) gives me the 251st destiny kin, so I am a Blue Self-Existing Monkey:

(don't worry, I don't really care much about the destiny kins ;p I am not really that kind of new-age type )

Where does the nick FiXato come from?
Well, it all started with the early plans of starting my own company (which I am still in the process of) and I was looking for a name.
The first name-suggestion from myself was Fixations, derived from fixating people's minds on my work and the fixing I did.
Unfortunately, that name was already widely used, and thus not interesting.
But since I already found that name a bit too long, I decided to play a bit with it by leaving out letters and finally came up with FiXato (please mind the capitalisation).
Since I was also looking for a new nickname (back then I was still stuck with FiSla (how unoriginal...) and BorgComManDer (don't laugh! it is based upon Star Trek and Command & Conquer: Tiberian Sun)), and still hadn't the resources for starting my own company, I decided to also use it as my nickname from then on 
(since I had already used my old nickname for some fora and websites, you may still find some of my stuff published as FiSla (rarely) or BorgComManDer (or its abbreviation (ever wondered why that word is so long?) BorgCMD)

Quirks and Oddities ::
As you can see, I've a thing for odd capitalisation... however... BreEzAhCapS-TaLK and other forms of '1337/leet-talk' have never really appealed to me... in fact, I mostly find those very, very, VERY, VERY annoying! Moderation is a bliss ;p and proper CamelCaps is a must in programming

I also have a morbid sense of humor at times and can be affected by mood-swings... let's just say that last might be female genes taking over ;p (*hides for the slaps of trouts by victims of the female gender*)
No, I really don't have anything against the female gender, that was just an example of my morbid sense of humor... (^A^);;

I also can get pretty annoyed with the American spelling... There is only one English spelling... The original British one! Things like American English and Australian English should be abolished! Therefore I really appeal to the Declaration of Revocation by John Cleese (even though it really isn't by Mr. Cleese... and only meant as a joke..(unfortunately;p))


Hobbies and other past-time things
I am a geek and proud of it! (Don't you dare call me a nerd, dork... or god forbid: a mundane or Dweeb! if you call me the latter one... I shall smyte thee with a 9D20+99 lucky roll! If you want to know more about the hierarchy of Geeks, Nerds, Dorks, Mundanes and Dweebs, read: About Geeks, by Jeremy Gilby)
If someone gave me a t-shirt with "I'm a geek" on one side, and "Date me!" on the other, I would wear it with pride! Especially if the letters were build-up from 0's and 1's!

So, what does this geek like to do?
Hobbies and other past-time things :: Social Aspects
Well, for the social part of being a geek:

• Enjoy good (and nitpick about less good) movies with friends! (As a good geek, I like Sci-Fi such as StarTrek and StarWars (although I dislike the feud between the two camps) and also epic fantasy stories such as the Lord of the Rings )
• Meeting new people, online through IRC and Fora, but also offline through (IRC/Fora/birthday/general) meetings.
• Travelling.. whether it is a foreign country (so far I've visited only Czech Republic, Belgium, Germany and Poland)
• Going to a bar with some good (mostly other geek-like ;p) friends, having a few (or more) beers, talking a lot about all kinds of things, from our geeky topics, to the more philosophical things such as 'what if the world is just a figment of my imagination' (and of course women we are geeks afterall... not nerds ;p)
• Cooking! I love making a good (spicy) meal, such as a rice-table or other Indonesian food for friends!

Hobbies and other past-time things :: Techie/Geeky Aspects
For the techie (not necessarily non-social) part of being geek:
- I like to work a lot with computers   Not just the current Personal Computers, but also oldskool Home Computers and 'oldgen' (as opposed to 'nextgen', which I kinda dislike, mostly because the games for it lack a good gameplay, and prefer to hide their bad gameplay and story and music, by overexcessive graphics... I mean.. I don't want 3D RPGs that are boring... I prefer a good enticing 2D RPG with a 3D-like IsoMetric birdview perspective!)
euh.... where was I? I kinda lost my train of thought... especially since I was also on IRC meanwhile.. *reads back his own words..*
oh right... Home Computers and Oldgen!

Hobbies and other past-time things :: Techie/Geeky Aspects :: MSX!
When I was about 4 or 5 years old (I think...my memory isn't what it used to be... (what will that be in the future... *shrug*)), my parents bought my brother and I a MSX2 Home Computer, a Philips NMS8250 to be precise!
I had a lot of fun with it mostly playing games on it, drawing some stuff in Designer Plus, and later on writing my schoolreports in Philips Office 2. Our family also went to the big MSX Fairs and events such as Zandvoort (later on continued as Bussum), Tilburg, Almelo, Oss (now going to be continued as Nijmegen) and the PTC Fair in the Brabanthallen.
I had (and still have) a lot of fun at those fair-events.. they used to be very big happenings with a lot of new software released on it, and nowadays are a pleasant day of meeting friends from within the MSX-scene and buying some of the still newly developed software and sometimes hardware
In the meantime I have also expanded my MSX-collection with 2 more NMS8250 (one of which is being used for spareparts ;p), and two older MSX 1 models.

Hobbies and other past-time things :: Techie/Geeky Aspects :: Other oldskool computers
But I don't only collect MSX, I also like to get some Amiga stuff at low prices, such as the two Amiga 500's I have (one stopped working.. probably a blown internal power-adaptor... and the other has a broken mouse-port..), and I have two old C=64's (never really use them.. kinda crap stuff ;p one is still meant for a friend of mine.. (I know I promised to get that thing ready for you about 2 years ago Sannie I'm sorry ;p)) and as for oldgens, I have the NES/SNES/N64/GB (the original grey one ;p), a Sega Master System II and an Atari 2600 (? not sure... should check that..)

Right... that is part 1... I will continue this later, but I don't want to risk losing this all ;p

*Continuation*

Hobbies and other past-time things :: Spiritual, Philosophical, (Sub-)Conscious stuff and other offsprings of the mind
Apart from all the material and social stuff described above, I also keep myself busy with stuff that is sometimes rather hard to describe, or 'untouchable' or other things of the unexplained/unexplainable...

Hobbies and other past-time things :: Spiritual
In regards of the spiritual part, I have interests in things like Reiki and similar (self-)healing techniques, entities, (inter-)dimensional layers of the world, (twin/fused/split-)souls and 'abnormal' energies.
I've experienced Reiki myself, so I know it exists, well, atleast for me. If someone feels like it doesn't exist, I will respect that opinion, as long as the other respects mine. Since I believe that sometimes what someone thinks to be true, is more real and important than what 'really' is the 'reality'. To me there is no Universal Truth or 'Reality'. Everyone creates his/her own reality and should respect everyone else's... AS LONG AS THEY RESPECT YOURS! And thus as long as it doesn't contradict the basis rights of every human being, such as the right to live.

Respect is also something very important thing... Someone on a forum once told me I should respect her and other elders... while she wasn't respecting my ideas and feelings... My reply was simple.. Respect is not to be taken or just given without a reason.. It is to be earned! Being older, doesn't make you more respectful, or more wise.. Age is but a number, and in today's world doesn't mean a lot anymore. I've seen twelve year-olds that acted very responsible, wise and mature, while I've also seen adults acting like immature morons...

Trust.. another key value... Respect and Trust are closely related to me..
It might be easy to earn my trust... but if you break it.. it will be very, very, very hard to re-earn it..

but I am drifting off

Hobbies and other past-time things :: Philosophical
Philisophical stuff huh?
Well, how about the theory of the world being just a figment of my/our imagination?
"Somebody tell me. Why it feels more real when I dream than when I am awake." & "There is some fiction in your truth and some truth in your fiction."
Two marvellous quotes from Kid's Story (part of The AniMatrix), which certainly have some truth in their fiction
But if this all is just a figment of my imagination...Does that mean I am the only one out there? Does that make me a god? Why do I imagine such a rotten world? Is that because without sorrow there is no true happiness? And is the dream world the real world?
I think the most logical would be that this world is a combined figment, of all our imaginations.. Together we create (and destroy) this world.. The mind is a powerful tool. Remember that we all send out alpha waves from our brains, and that there exists a global (maybe even galactical) neural network, constructed of our brainwaves.
Every thought can subconsciously affect someone else's.. Imagine yourself being in a pool of water... and one thought will ripple through the water.. reaching other persons in that same water.. ripples colliding and combining with each other and thus influencing each other and creating new waves and ripples.. reality as we all interpret it in our own ways... Attuned to it in every aspect possible...

Hobbies and other past-time things :: Philosophical :: Dreaming
Dreams... I mentioned them before..
Dreams can be a very intrigueing reality, which can seem so much more real than our waking life.. But also more surreal.
One specific aspect of dreaming is Lucid Dreaming; being conscious of the fact you are dreaming, and on higher levels even the ability to take control over your dream
I've always been aware of the existance of LD'ing, but didn't know that it had a specific name until I came in touch with two dreaming communities through some dreaming-related chatrooms on the Chat4All IRC Network. (Thanks Moogle and Siiw )

There are a lot of fun things one can do in a dream, such as flying, stepping through a mirror, summoning creatures or people, visiting strange new worlds and even meeting other dreamers (Shared Dreaming).
Some persons prefer to say that Out of Body Experiences and Astral Projection are forms of dreams... To me they are more of a different layer of consciousness and reality. If you AP, you can visit people and locations with your mind, and see what happens in reality there... I would like to explain it with the shared neural network.. you move your consciousness over that network..

Anyway.. again... rambling.. rambling... and more rambling
As you can see, thoughts just come to my mind as I am talking and typing ^_^;; It really depends on the mood I am in.

anyway... time for another save of this mindless rambling that is supposed to be an introductory post But what better way to know someone, than through his offsprings of the soul, mind and heart... which, after the break, will lead me to my next point of personal discussion: poetry

again: (CTRL-A, CTRL-C)

[Siiw]

Hi, FiXato! 

Victim of...what? 

* Siiw noticed the 20.november and makes a mental note. 

[Foxman]

This isn't a introduction....

Anyway, it's pleasantly to read. I will read the next 9 chapters tomorrow. 

[FiXato]

Tonight in the Chat4All Literary Cafe: FiXato's Auto-Biography, Part 2: Mindless Bantering Continued

[Adonix]

*Nerd*    (/me quickly runs around the corner and hides) 

This truely must be one of the most elaborate introductions i have ever seen, if you go on, it will be your autobiography 

Hmm now i think i will have to make an intro as well...

[FiXato]

  GRRRR!! I am NOT a NERD!

well.. it certainly has been the most elaborate I've ever written!

[moogle]

Tonight in the Chat4All Literary Cafe: FiXato's Auto-Biography, Part 2: Mindless Bantering Continued

* moogle wonders what dark secrets will be revealed in the next post 

[Adonix]

Welcome Mooogle! 

[Siiw]

Aren't you going to post an intro post too, moogle? 

[FiXato]

Hobbies and other past-time things :: Poetry
hmmm I hope I still have enough inspiration for this ;p I doubt it is as much as yesterday, but with me... you'll never know 

Yes, I tend to have quite creative streaks... or so people tell me ;p
One of the things that keeps me (kinda) sane, is poetry. Not just reading it (which I momentarily rarely do..), but mostly writing it

Poetry has been on my mind for as long as I can remember.
Always loved to write stories or use my imagination, and also talked a lot about how I felt. So a logical step was to write my feelings down in short stories or poems.
The poems I write are mostly used as an expression and to relieve myself of my feelings.
Whenever feeling extreme emotions I have to write them down.
I am mostly inspired by people and my feelings. But they can also be triggered by an event or a simple vision.

Over the years I've written quite some poems, a lot of which I've published online on some poetry sites. Most of them are collected at my little space over at AllPoetry, on my Artist's Page. Quite another amount though, is too personal and will most likely never be published during my stay in this lifetime in this dimension of Earth.

Some of my poems are quite strong... showing the true power of words... and have brought several people to tears of sorrow or extreme happiness, but most importantly: have been a source of inspiration and support through recognition of their own state of mind/heart/soul..

Before I go on with another creative/emotional outlet, I would like to share some poems that have been very special to either myself or others:
excerpt from 'Whirlwind of thoughts - Breeze of silence':

[...]
While thinking of this, wondering if I want it to stop or not,
You suddenly stop blowing,
Though peace has not yet returned.
My feelings cannot accept that you are gone.
My body is missing something.
The 2 hearts that were pounding together in my body
They are torn apart, leaving emptiness behind.

My mind still cannot believe,
Does not want to believe.
But my instinct tells me to go on,
To pick up the pieces you left behind.
Clear up the mess and store the memories.
[...]

and an excerpt from 'Burning Light - A World Without You':

[...]
I give my life for them
for the ones I love
the ones I care for
and the ones that I so desperately need
every inch of my body
every solemn aspect of my soul
I am using it up for you my friends....

the light that you see
is a part of the darkness that grows deep within me
the energy and love you feel
is due to the degrading life-power of my soul, body and mind...
[...]

Hobbies and other past-time things :: Graphical stuff
Ever since the MSX with Philips' Designer Plus, I've liked too doodle and draw on computers (using software that is ;p not actually putting paint or stuff ON a computer casing ;p). While not much drawings are saved from that period, I do have quite some from the moment I started fooling around with Paint Shop Pro, back then still owned and produced by Jasc, but after the take-over, now in hands of Corel *shrug*.
The first version I work with, was version 3... later on I discovered that v5 was already available, opening a plethora of functions and filters.
From 5 I went on to 6, in which most of my work has been made I think... And used every version since.. up until the current version X
I was very active with it a couple of years ago, especially in the high-times of the PSP Fora of Renderosity.com's Digital Artgallery community I made a lot of graphical work with it
Back then the community there was very lively, with lots of 'contests', a good atmosphere, lots of tutorials and support and challenges, which resulted in an increasing artgallery there
I once started there as BorgCMD, and never switched my nickname there... partially because as far as I know there is no option to, partially because there are already a lot of links all over the web to that page and because people on the Renderosity community knew me mostly by my old nickname
If you want, you can check out My Digital Artgallery at Renderosity

When the forums there died due to some conflict that led to the removal of the the forum's moderator, a restart by the regulars of the forum was attempted at another art-community, namely 3DCommune. It unfortunately didn't really pick up, and therefor (and because of a loss of interest in the whole graphics scene) my gallery there doesn't contain a lot of images...However, feel free to also peek at My 3DCommune Digital Artgallery.

Nowadays I also have a gallery at DeviantArt, which still contains a very little amount of images, however, in the near future I plan on adding the best of my work and have it up as some kind of Graphical Portfolio.
So, please also have a glance at FiXato's DeviantArt Gallery.

I tend to have periods in which I am active with one aspect of my creativity (or just something completely different..).
I really have the tendency to start with something that seems interesting to me, get pretty good at/with it, and then leave it all alone.. It is a bad trait of me.. being too impulsive... and not always finishing what I started..
After my period of Graphics, I got involved into webdevelopment, especially the PHP/MySQL direction of it.

but more about my programming related things, tomorrow...

in a brandnew episode of:

FiXato's Biography: A collection of Mindless Bantering and Pointless Rambling

[fear]

* fear rubs eyes

my life story isn't' even that long 

[FiXato]

lol fear-dude
good to see you here as well

*hugs fear*

I should continue my biography ;p

[Siiw]

Hi, fear! 

* Siiw waits for fear's intro

[FiXato]

* FiXato had a great day before his birthday

At 12.30 the first friend arrived, followed by a couple more during the next hours. With just 5 people left, we decided to play some Settlers of Catan, but near the end of the game, the next group of people came
Even had to get some extra chairs from the attic so they could all sit down ;p

Around dinnertime some of them left again and I had to start making dinner.
It was a lot of work, but luckily enough I got some help from a friend
On the menu was:
Ajam Peniki (spicy chicken)
Babi Ketjap (porkmeat)
Babi Panggang (porkmeat, kinda sweet&sour)
Bami Goreng (eggnoodles with stir-fried veggies and some chicken)
Nasi Goreng (baken rice with stir-fried veggies)
Plain, white, rice
Plain Bami (eggnoodles)
Sweet&Sour stir-fried Thai vegetables
Gado Gado (spicy, peanut-like sauce)

Quite some work, but all 8 found it very delicious so it was worth the time and effort ;p

Eventually during the evening some people went again and some more arrived. I think there were about 13 or 15 persons max at one time in the room, which is very crowded for our room compared to the usual 3 that inhabit it;p
We played games a lot which is quite normal for my birthdays ;p
First some Bubble Bobble on the MSX, then some Mario Kart on the SNES, but finally when another friend arrived with the PS2 he promised to bring, we started playing Buzz for a long time. It is some kind of music-quiz for 4 players, so everyone teamed up and started playing
It was everyone's first time, which made it more fun
Later on we popped in SingStar 80's and began to annoy everyone who could hear us singing (well.. singing... ;p sometimes one could say someone was tortured or something, from the sounds some of us produced ;p), luckily we have 5-double glazing ;p which keeps a lot of the noise inside ^_^
Some other SingStar editions were played as well, mostly the Pop-edition though
We switched back to Buzz when two of the guests went to bed (they came from the other side of the country, so they stayed over ) and played that till 6.30 in the morning with the remaining 6 or 7 persons

The next morning (my actual bday ) I had to get up again around 10am, because the two guests had to have some breakfast and left around 11.00 or 11.30 am
Later on the day, my brother and his gf arrived and stayed till late evening (luckily I didn't have to make dinner that day ;p) and I collapsed from near-exhaustion on my bed around midnight (which is quite early for me ;p)

So, I had a great time Onto the next year ;p

[Nescio]

Yo FiXato,.............
even you got me silent


but for as long I surely live in the country,
seeing lambs in only 35 mtr from my window..........
(make it yards if u used to)
I will be silence with them!

After reading your six books here, ......................................

I'll take a rest,
feel, I met the best,
simply not a nerd
for what that is worth.
Tnx, for FiXing, not mean,
keeping the channel clean.

Piet